Throughout history, men have been drawn to women younger than them. It’s a pattern that has many reasons behind it.
A man dating a younger woman can feel a bit like a pedophile. He could be using her for power play and sex, or he could be simply obsessed with infantilisation.
1. Look for the Long Lines
You might find that your friends and family don’t initially warm up to the idea of you dating a younger woman. They may think that she might try to take advantage of you or they might worry that she’s too young to know what she wants out of life.
But the truth is, despite what you might have heard from Leonardo DiCaprio or Jay-Z, age doesn’t matter when it comes to relationships. It’s all about compatibility and whether your worldviews match up.
For example, if your girlfriend doesn’t like to go clubbing, it might not be the right fit for you. In this case, you’ll want to talk with her about what kind of activities you both enjoy. That will help you figure out if you can be compatible long-term.
2. Go Towards People
One of the things you’ll probably have to deal with in an age gap relationship is your younger woman’s family. They may find it odd that she’s with an older man and may think you’re taking advantage of her.
Show her that you’re not a taker and that you have emotional maturity by treating her with respect. Open doors for her, pull out chairs, and always offer to pay for dates. Chances are that her previous younger boyfriends didn’t treat them this way, and your chivalrous behavior will impress her.
Many men dating younger women have a need for power or a desire for adventure that they can’t fill with someone their own age. It’s possible that they have unresolved issues with their father figures and traumatic experiences from childhood, but only a mental health professional can determine if this is the case.
3. Be a Fixture
In primitive times, men selected mates based on features like youth, symmetrical hips, and a wide waist-to-hip ratio. This gene-driven behavior may be one reason why some older men choose younger women.
Having young companionships can help many men feel their age is not slipping away as fast as it seems. They can be a constant reminder of their vivacious youth, and a source of euphoria.
It can also help men forget about their friends with children and other responsibilities, who are not always up for weekend parties or night outings. Younger women can fill this social void quite conveniently, and have an addictive youthful vitality that rubs off on their older counterparts. This is what makes them irresistible to many older men. They may be attracted to a woman in her prime, or just want to hold onto their own youth.
4. Go to the Subway
Men who are dating younger women often get criticized for their choices. This is because these relationships are often cross-generational, meaning that they have different beliefs about sex and relationships. However, the truth is that age-based dating and relationships are not a choice, but rather, an unavoidable reality.
According to Nicholas Nasombi, a counseling psychologist from Nairobi, men who date much younger women could have commitment issues. He adds that young women are also often looking for short-term relationships, which makes them the perfect match for men who are not keen on commitment. However, he warns that such a relationship could also lead to abuse. Therefore, it is important to always be aware of your own boundaries when dating someone with a big age gap.
5. Ask a Friend to Set You Up
It’s not uncommon for a man to date someone younger. And while it’s hardly frowned upon, it can be uncomfortable for some people to hear about it. Especially those who believe it’s purely genetic, and that men love young women because they want to relive their youth. As Volz pointed out in her Twitter thread, those comments make it seem like women in relationships with older men are somehow easy or vulnerable or naive.
But that’s not necessarily true. In fact, most women who date younger men look for confidence and maturity—and they’re more likely to be attracted to a man who knows what he wants in life. So if you’re feeling like you’re in the market for a toyboy, ask your friend to set you up.
