If your woman isn’t into oral sex, she might just be into different forms of clitoral foreplay. She could also be saving you from encountering her sweaty post-workout package!
However, this doesn’t mean that your partner hates your nipples. Some women love blow jobs and can even get an orgasm from it!
1. They don’t value it
Many women have a love or hate relationship with oral sex. They either think that it’s incredibly sexually satisfying or they don’t feel anything and find it tedious. Those who love it often report on feeling an incredible amount of power when they give their partner a good blow job and some even lick their partners semen for extra stimulation.
However, a lot of women have come to resent men and their selfish desires to use women for their own personal ego trip. In fact, it’s a big reason why so many women do not enjoy giving their partners good blow jobs and a lot of them avoid this act completely.
In a recent poll, Bustle asked women about their views on giving head. It turns out that over half of them preferred a quick cum from their partner and the most common position for them to do so was having their partners lying down on their back. In addition, 55% of them said that their favorite way to finish a blowjob was by swallowing their partners semen.
2. They don’t know what to do with it
As sex experts know, oral sex (i.e. blowjobs) is a form of arousal that stimulates the climax area. It’s a great way to initiate arousal before sexual activity or as an alternative to a full-on vaginal penetration. However, it can be a bit tricky to navigate. For example, if you’re giving your partner a blowjob, it’s important to be sure they’re enjoying it. This could be difficult to gauge if your heart isn’t in it, but luckily there are clues that you can watch for.
Sex educator Kenneth Play says that being respectful is key for the blowjob giver and receiver. He suggests asking them about their sex preferences and taking their lead. This will make it less awkward for everyone involved. Also, he notes that it’s not necessary to push your partner to orgasm. If they aren’t able to reach a climax, it’s OK to stop. This will still be pleasurable for both parties.
3. They don’t want to hurt you
Women who love giving blowjobs can be turned on by a feeling of vulnerability, especially when they’re the ones at their partner’s mercy. This is why it’s important to clear things up with your partner and make sure they’re comfortable with oral sex before you begin. And as far as sex goes, it’s best to stick to the basics when giving head, like licking and kissing, rather than thrusting or sucking.
While mainstream porn may depict blowjobs as intense affairs that leave the giver gasping, choking, and covered in saliva, this is not a realistic expectation for most women. The truth is, they can feel just as hot and messy as regular sex, but with more control. That’s why learning to lick and kiss is key. This is one of the most satisfying ways to please a man.
4. They don’t want to hurt their partner
For many people, oral sex can be more erotic than penile penetration. There’s a sense of intimacy that comes with sucking a partner’s penis and there can be a service element involved as well. “Penis servicing can be a very satisfying and fulfilling experience for folx,” says Moushumi Ghose, MFT, a sex therapist.
Despite the arousal that can come from this sexual activity, it’s important to remember that it’s still a form of sex and should only be done with your partner’s consent. Play suggests talking about it beforehand and respecting your partner’s wishes when you do get them.
For the record, the most popular blow job position among women is having their partner lie down on them while the least favorite is the 69. Most women also prefer to finish the blow job by swallowing their partner’s semen. Some women, however, find this unpleasant. This is often because of problems such as a large penis, poor hygiene, or even pubic hair.