We all want to be the best that we can be in relationships and want the other person to contribute to and uphold their end of responsibilities. Relationships can be complicated things,
though, and it can be hard to tell what each person adds and what value each person brings to the relationship. It is hard to tell how to balance the unquantifiable things. Many people go one of two directions; they want to provide more and possibly have resentment that the other person is not contributing as much (unhealthy competition), or they are micromanaging the details and not considering other things (money, chores, etc.). Both of these can be unhealthy when focused on too intensely or too much (and depending on how each partner responds and communicates).
Relationships are not competitions. Another fault that some couples have is an excessive amount of competition when it comes to things like making money, spending money, saving money, parenting, household chores, or pretty much anything that’s not board games or video games. Appreciate what each person brings to the table and express your enjoyment and love for what they provide. When things become less about the couple and more about whether one person is doing more (or better) than the other person, conflict can arise. Keep in mind, that this paragraph is not about whether things are fair, which can be a legitimate conversation to have, but more how people respond to situations and whether or not the competition aspect is healthy.
Micromanaging the details of certain relationship elements can also lead to resentment and relationship difficulties. Generalized concerns can be different, but people need to be careful either way. It is unlikely that both people will put the same amount of time into chores or money into the relationship, and other elements often get compared that way as well. Are both people contributing in general to the relationship? Are both people communicating needs, wants, and desires? Are both people expressing their love and affection? These are some of the questions that may put a different perspective on discussion that are more beneficial.
Phone dating takes planning and time, but even after a relationship is going, there is still work to be done.