Stem is a lesbian who presents as masculine but with feminine elements. Also known as a boi or soft stud. Stem lesbians can be any gender identity, including transgender and non binary. They prefer to be referred to as they/them.
A popular look for stems is a men’s cut shirt paired with shorts and sneakers. This style adds a sexy, skater vibe to their outfit.
Style 1: Baggy Athletic Clothing
Lesbian stems love to wear baggy athletic clothing that adds a traditionally masculine touch to their look. They often mix feminine tops with boyish bottoms like a strappy sports bra with baggy joggers or white sneakers with a track suit. This style is perfect for summer, especially when paired with a cool pair of dad or beanies hats.
A men’s cut shirt is a good option for this style, as it can help make the upper body look broader and more muscular. You can also cuff the sleeves to show off your biceps and give your outfit a skater vibe.
A femme lesbian would probably rock a floral dress and heels with her boyfriend on a date night, but she’ll still be down to go to the ballet or watch a hockey game with her girls. A femme girl might also have more piercings or a wild, quirky earring trend that’s popular on TikTok right now like tiny tarot cards, succulent pots, or SPAM cans.
Style 2: Men’s Cut Shirt
If you think of gender identity and expression as a spectrum, the femme lesbian would be on one end, the butch on the other, and the stem in the middle. Also known as a “futch”, this style blurs the line between butch and femme by wearing menswear-inspired clothing with feminine touches.
For example, she might wear a white button-up shirt with baggy track pants and sneakers with high socks for a skater look that’s both chic and masculine. Cuffing the sleeves can help make her upper body look broader and more masculine, too.
Femme lesbians often enjoy wearing menswear-inspired clothes while still maintaining feminine traits, like keeping long hair and using makeup. Adding accessories can also give an outfit a little bit more femme flair. For example, a cute bowler hat or a pair of statement earrings might completely transform an outfit from casual to flirty. And while not technically a fashion accessory, a practical bag or tote can be a great way for queer femmes to shout out their identities, too.
Style 3: Graphic Tee
In the fashion world, graphic tees are a staple item in many wardrobes. They often depict a band, brand logo, or artwork and can be tight-fitting or oversized for a casual look. They can also have a vintage aesthetic.
If you’re shopping for a graphic tee, Carlson recommends looking for one with the right amount of distressing and fading. She also prefers the graphic to end above the belly button. She loves this tee that features a full-size Ziggy Stardust graphic and is made from a soft cotton material.
Stem lesbians often enjoy mixing masculine and feminine styles, wearing a club dress with joggers one day and a pair of jeans and a blazer the next. For those who are new to this style, this tee from Chromat is a good place to start. The brand’s tees are designed to be flattering for queer bodies of all shapes and sizes, from plus-size to XL. It even has a pocket for a small phone.
Style 4: Undercut
If you love to look stylish but also appreciate comfort, you may be a stem. This gender expression category is a mix of butch and femme. It’s a great way to blur the lines of binaries and gender stereotypes. For example, a stem could wear a club dress one day and joggers the next.
This style is also known as soft butch or futch. It’s a great way to look feminine without having to wear a lot of makeup and have long hair. Think Dana from The L Word or the girls in your high school PE class that always look cool in their sweats and baggy tees.
A striped or graphic tee shirt paired with shorts and sneakers is a great summer look for a lesbian stem. Add a beanie or dad hat to complete this streetwear style. Or you can go for a cute and classic look with a button-up shirt tucked into a pair of cuffed jeans.