Getting to know an older man can be a challenge, especially when you’re young. But if you want to make it work, there are a few things you can do.
For starters, it’s important to focus on being yourself rather than trying to impress him with your youth.
1. Start with a compliment
Compliments are a great way to make someone feel special and build a bond. However, they’re not always easy to give.
Rather than simply telling someone how great they look, compliment them on something that’s meaningful to them. It shows that you know them and that you’re truly interested in them as a person.
This is especially true when you’re talking to someone who is a little older than you. A specific compliment can go a long way toward making your older partner feel special, says Gretchen Kubacky, PsyD, a psychologist in Los Angeles.
For example, if you’re talking to a friend who’s a big fan of gardening, you could tell them that they have an excellent eye for color. Alternatively, you could compliment them on their athleticism or commitment to work-out goals.
2. Bring up the book he’s reading
You can have a spirited conversation with any guy but if you want to win his heart, make sure you take the time to learn his interests and preferences. This might sound like a no brainer but it’s surprising how many women just don’t ask this important question.
A classic literary work that should be part of every man’s reading list is The Great Gatsby, written by author Charles Dickens. It’s a tale of wealth, loss and romance that will keep you engaged for hours on end. You can also try a more modern title that’s sure to get his attention: “An Illustrated History of the American Revolution” by historian Frederick Jackson Turner. It’s a fun and witty book that will teach you all about the antebellum era, the revolutionary war and what it means to be an American citizen in the late 18th century.
3. Ask about his dog
Aside from a good old-fashioned flirtation, older men chat in a variety of ways. While there is no specific rule of thumb, the most common way is through mutual interests. This could be as simple as having shared hobbies or a love of travel. The other common method is by asking a more in-depth question. For example, if you want to ask about his pet, the best question to get an answer might be something along the lines of: “Is this your first dog?” You can also try the old fashioned method of asking about his latest trip. This is a great chance to learn about him and your future partner before you have to start a conversation that will probably be awkward.
4. Ask why he’s at the same party
Younger women are often attracted to older men because they tend to be more understanding and patient than their male peers. This is important because it makes them feel more comfortable with their date, allowing them to open up more easily and be more honest about what they want out of a relationship.
Similarly, older men are often attracted to younger women because they are more interesting and appealing than their male counterparts. This is especially true if they share a similar worldview or value system, which can make them a good match for a young woman who is often unsure about her own feelings.
For example, if an older man is interested in going to the same church or spirituality group as you, it’s a great opportunity for you to have a conversation about your faith and see if you two have anything in common. Alternatively, if you’re both interested in attending a yoga class or wine club, it’s a great way to meet someone who shares your interests.