If you are dating an asexual person, you may have many questions about how to proceed with your relationship. Here are some tips to help you navigate this new territory.
There are plenty of resources available to you, including online forums and Facebook groups. However, it’s also important to consider counseling, either online or in-person.
Be open about your intentions.
When dating an asexual person, it’s important to be open about your intentions. It’s also important to respect their boundaries and understand what type of intimacy they want from the relationship. This includes discussing sex and other forms of physical intimacy.
Some asexuals don’t desire sex at all and enjoy other types of intimacy, like close friendships or even platonic love. They may not feel sexual attraction, but they still have romantic feelings for their partner.
Non-aces may be quick to dismiss this, but it is important to remember that different people have different needs and desires. Writing off asexuals who do not wish to have sex could be unfair and may cause them to question their identity. Moreover, it might lead them to feel less loved for their decision. They should not have to sacrifice their own needs and identities for the sake of a relationship. This is also why it’s crucial to consider therapy, either online or in-person.
Respect your partner’s boundaries.
It is important to respect your partner’s boundaries when dating. If your partner is not interested in sex, this is their right and it doesn’t need to be a big deal. It can be hard for some people to understand the experience of asexuality and it is important to discuss it early in your relationship to avoid any misunderstandings or drama.
There are many resources available for you and your partner to talk about sex. You can find discussion forums online, ace groups, or even individual or couple therapy sessions with a trained professional.
It is also possible for asexual people to have children through non-sexual means like in vitro fertilization or adoption. If you and your partner want children, this is something that should be discussed in advance to ensure that everyone’s needs are met. This will help your relationship be successful and long-lasting. It will also help you to keep a sense of intimacy in your relationship.
Consider your future together.
Many asexual people don’t have any interest in physical or sexual relationships, but others do. It is possible to have a romantic relationship without sexual intimacy and these types of relationships can be as fulfilling as those that involve sex.
In addition to not having a sexual attraction for their partners, some asexual people are also unable or unwilling to engage in penetrative sex. These types of people can enjoy non-penetrative sex (or “outercourse”) for a variety of reasons, including preference, safety, and mental and physical limitations.
It’s important to remember that asexual people don’t choose to be this way; it’s a part of who they are. This makes it even more important to communicate openly about their preferences and avoid making assumptions based on what they have written online or what other people say about the experience of asexuality. Your partner may be able to have a range of feelings and desires for you that aren’t sexual, and these can help them feel close to you.
Be honest about your sexual needs.
While sex isn’t the only factor that makes relationships work, it can be an important one. If you’re dating an asexual person, be honest about what your needs are. This will help you avoid any confusion or miscommunication.
For instance, if your partner wants to try oral or non-penetrative sex (outercourse), make sure you’re both clear on that. It’s also essential to be open about whether you want any sexual intimacy at all, including if you’d like fingering or any penetration.
You should also remember that your asexual partner may be attracted to you for other reasons than sexual attraction. This is called demisexuality and is not uncommon. They could be intellectually, romantically, or aesthetically attracted to you. If they’re attracted to you for one of these reasons, let them know! This will save both of you a lot of time and frustration. And it’ll make for a more fulfilling relationship.